Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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