Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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