His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
