Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
