Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
