bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize