ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
