We're facebook friends in real life
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
