im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
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