Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
