She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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