the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
