i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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