Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
