And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
