Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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