Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
