hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
