My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
