When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
