Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
