I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
