i just google imaged poop.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize