I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
