i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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