my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
