I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
