well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
