If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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