Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize