i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
