You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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