im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize