Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
