the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
