why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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