All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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