he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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