she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize