you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
