Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
