I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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