Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
