My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
