just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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