Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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