this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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