glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
