found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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