If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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