Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
A+ Viking dick
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
