I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what day is it and did you see me today?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
