C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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