Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
