I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
