I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize