He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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