I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
