I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
