Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
