my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
