I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
