your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize