I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize