so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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