Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
