just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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