I skipped work to stalk him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize