ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
