I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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