I CAN MOONWALK!
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize