He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
love makes seman taste better
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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