I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so much tequila, so little girl.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
