hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
