you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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