I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize