your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
