I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
