I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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