No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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