Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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