I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
