he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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