dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize